The Staring Contest

One the hardest things to get used to are the stares.  The stares from various people from various walks of life.  Typically it’s not the Western folks who just stare and glare as you walk by.  It’s the others.  The locals, the laborers, the nannies, the children, and others who I’m not even sure what category they fit in. 

Even just walking to your car from the grocery store you will encounter so many people that just stare at you.  And they stare at you even when you stare back at them.  It’s like a staring contest!  It seems that if you stare at them and then make a comment to them, they’ll stop. 

A few weeks ago we were visiting a friend in Abu Dhabi.  We stopped in the supermarket (every mall has one of the two popular chains here – LuLu or Carrefour) and went to the car.  We were putting our bags away and just chatting.  These guys (they were car washers.  They have these mobile car washers in all the mall parking garages) just stared at us for minutes until our friend said in a rather aggressive and frustrating tone, “Excuse me – what the ($*# are you looking at?”  Of course then he looked away embarrassed. And he should have. 

I know that if were the only western people here, then we’d get a few stares.  But there are so many, especially in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, that staring shouldn’t be an issue at this point!  They’ve seen many people from all over the world.  And yet the staring persists.  It’s creepy!

In our complex, there are labor workers busy digging up the water pipes to replace some fittings that are breaking because they’re too small.  So for days now we’ve had these workers out digging.  When we leave our house, they just stare until we drive away.  We come back – and they’re staring until we go inside.  This morning I said, “Hello!” and he just kept staring!  It’s like – REALLY?!?!?!  You’ve seen us for days now – stop staring!  I was able to even discreetly snap a few pics because I know if I just walked outside they’d  stare at me. 

 

So this weekend I got to really thinking, “Why do they stare so much?”  I think there are several things that might perplex these people who have a serious staring problem. 

(1)    They’re shocked we have two kids and no nanny.  So many people have nannies here that they wonder how we’re surviving without one.  They might wonder how to get two kids through a grocery store with no nanny to help, and how we go out to eat without a nanny to tend to our children.

 

(2)    When we’re leaving the grocery store – maybe they wonder how we manage to actually get our groceries to our car without any help.  So many people here, locals and expats from all nations, have the baggers carry their groceries out to the car.  And we’re talking anything from a huge basket full to a bag or two.  I know it’s hard to believe – but we’ve seen MANY people, male and female, who are walking 10 feet ahead of the bagger who is carrying their two bags to their car.  And I’m sure those from Western nations did not act like this back home. 

 

(3)    I suppose they rarely see people with tattoos.  And since I have two – one on each leg – I guess they wonder how, why I have them.   But I also know if I was wearing jeans, they’d still stare.

 

(4)    Many of the locals stare too!  Maybe because we’re not in their traditional dress and they wonder how we live in western clothing.  Maybe the women have envy that Jennifer doesn’t have to cover her entire body including her hair. There is a comic I saw one time that does make us see their side of the clothing issue (even though we don’t wear provocative clothing).

 

(5)    Our story.  And everyone else’s story.  Maybe the stares are just them figuring out our story they’re making up as they walk us walk by.  I’ve been known to make up a pretty awesome story about people, but I can do it without staring too long at them and continuing to stare even when they’re staring and me and I stare at them. 

 

(6)    Maybe it’s just normal in their home country/culture to just stare….

 

Regardless of why they stare, it gets so annoying.  I’ve started just staring back and so many times they still just stare at you.  It’s creepy.  We were walking about of the mall several weeks ago and there was a very cheesy fashion show going on.  And there were men, single men in their groups, using their phones to film the show.  Really??? It’s not New York fashion week or anything. 

I said to Jennifer the other day, “One thing I will not miss when we are home are the STARES!”